Bits and crumbs from my daily life....
9.11.2008 - Major Change of Plans
Paragraph.
8.27.2008 - I have learned that sometimes "sorry" is not enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.
This whole week, I have been getting messages about forgiveness from different people. Forgive, forgive, forgive. I think its about time I do.
THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS TO REMOVE JUDGMENT: "RAV ABA AND THE TRAVELER" (ZOHAR Mikketz 186)
How many times in your life have you felt the desire to hurt someone, for the simple reason that they hurt you first? Whenever you try to enact vengeance, even if you truly feel it's justified, you create an opening for judgment to be enacted upon yourself. But when you resist an impulse for reactive vengeance, you bring forgiveness and good will into your life.
Sometimes the Zohar is challenging in its teachings, and sometimes it is straightforward. This section uses a simple, clear story to reveal the power of true forgiveness. The traveler in this section was not even aware of the two miracles that had saved him from danger. But it was the power of forgiveness he had practiced throughout his life that protected him. Rav Aba learns of this power from the traveler, and we in turn are taught by Rav Aba.
Everything that happens to you is the effect of something you have done in this lifetime, or even in a former one—or it may be an experience that is being given to you to assist in your transformation. In either case, what takes place is exactly what you need at that moment.
Once you understand this, forgiveness for those who have "wronged" you is easy. In fact, vengeance will even be replaced by gratitude. Meditate on this section to awaken your ability for truly forgiving others.
The Secrets of the Zohar
Michael Berg
8.24.2008 - Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.
As my departure date nears, I am overcome with anxiety and fear. Even though deep inside, I know this is the right thing for me, I cannot help but feel scared. I know though, that this is all a test. I am being challenged by the opponent because he knows that my will to move is strong, so it is trying to get to me physically. Physically by giving me carpal tunnel, anxiety, headaches, and other physical illnesses. So I tell myself, this is all an illusion to get me to stay behind and continue to get stuck in the rut that I am in, in order not to reveal any Light. But tough shit for you because I know this is all an illusion. I am not fooled by you.
8.23.2008 - BBQ Despedida in my house
8.23.2008 - A journey will only be as rewarding in context to what you are prepared to lose
Thank you for being a wellspring of strength.
yes, i realised you should be leaving soon as well and the emotions will kick in indeed. i guess not leaving soon enough kind of allows you to get more attached to surroundings back there but its the nature of the beast what can i say? as exciting as it is its always hard to leave home. but at least you know you have a home that you can come back to whenever you want. not a lot of people have that. i remember what someone told me before when i was about to leave, which i think i already told you anyway. but dedicated on my book the life of pi he wrote 'a journey will only be as rewarding in context to what you are prepared to lose' so if you're willing to let that great life you have back home go, i think you'll be in for quite an interesting adventure. you'll be alright.
8.22.2008 - Reality is on the other side of the visible
Reality check! Am leaving soon!!! Shet!!! Naiiyak na ako!
8.18.2008 - Wagyu BBQ in my house
Boracay, August 2008
8.14.2008 - The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea
Am off to the beautiful island of Boracay! Will be there until Sunday. Yay!!! Care of sweet Bubba. Woohoo, you rock!!!
Til next week! :-)
8.12.2008 - The Uber Loving Friend
I have been meaning to attend bible class for a while now but my schedule just wouldn't permit it. Last night, I was finally free to attend one. We did this thing called The Purple book which is a workbook that talks about a certain topic, and there are questions and you look up the answers in your bible. It was very interesting and enlightening. In the end, they ask you what prayers you need and someone will pray for you. I didn't know the rest of the girls there too well. The one that had led the class I wasn't very close too, though I have met her a couple of times before. The other two, I had just met last night. And the last two (we were 6 in the class), I know well. The one that ended up praying for me was one of my dearest fnd bestest friends. That was one of the most heartfelt and beautiful prayers that I have heard. She knows me well, so when she prayed, it was more meaningful. She really touched my heart and my soul as she prayed for my family and myself. At that moment, she exuded so much love and sincerity that I couldn't hold back my tears. I felt every plead, every word. Thank you for praying for me, for making feel secure with our friendship and for showing me how much you love me. I love you so much!
Today, I am thankful for really loving friends. No matter how many tests,trials,and storms we have been through, the foundation of friendship is so strong that we are still standing. No shifting sands, just solid ground. This is exactly the kind of support I need now, specially before the big move.
8.11.2008 - South of the border, west of the sun by Haruki Murakami
Born in Japan in 1951, Hajime feels out of place growing up as an only child, until he makes friends with Shimamoto, who is also an only child and has a limp. A soul-mate, she shares with him a passion for music and sparks his first tentative sexuality. They go to different schools, however, and lose touch. In high school Hajime develops a more normal relationship with Izumi, but one that is doomed by the naked lust that drives him and her cousin to couple — and by his urge to get out of their "sleepy town" and go to university in Tokyo. After aimless college years, Hajime finds his feet. He marries well and with help from his father-in-law sets up two jazz bars in Tokyo, which he manages with aplomb. At thirty-seven he is happily settled with Yukiko and their two daughters... Until Shimamoto reenters his life. She appears and disappears unpredictably, but eventually Hajime will have to make a choice between his past and his present. The plot of South of the Border, West of the Sun is not particularly original or substantial, but it serves as a skeleton for an exploration of sex, love and obsession. Hajime's personal story, elements of which are apparently autobiographical, is a moving tale of teenage romance and angst and of mid-life crisis and nostalgia. There are also some more general ruminations; though slender, these manage to avoid glibness.
It's a very simple but powerful little novel. Brilliant language. My first Murakami book that I have read, but I'll be reading more. Thank you Mica for introducing me to this amazing writer. Friends na kami. Haha!!!
8.6.2008 - How do we change because of love? Continuously, foolishly, endlessly.....
May it be love for God,family, friends, partner...It changes you. Love changes you!
8.5.2008 (2)- The only way to have a friend is to be one.
There are times, when as much as we all would like, being a "friend in deed" physically isn't something we're able to do. Recently, a friend of mine has been going through a rough patch in her life. Single, confused, and needing comfort would definitely describe my friend. I want to be there for her, not just physically but emotionally. However, I have been busy with my own stuff specially now that my departure date for the UAE is so close. I have to juggle my time between family and friends. And when we try to come up with a day for us to hang out, our schedules are always conflicting. But she knows that all she has to do is holler, and I will drop everything and come running.
So I asked myself, what can I do for her to show her that I am thinking about her and that I care about her? These are some things I came up with.
1. Send e-cards,an e-mail or an SMS. Just check up on them and cheer them up.
2. Call them! Ask them how they are, and just listen to what they have to say.
3. Send some flowers. Something fun like sunflowers will brighten the room and make them feel special.
4. Cook them dinner and send it over. It saves them the hassle of having to cook, and it will make them feel cared for.
It's not the big things we do for the special people in our lives that makes a difference. Showing concern and being a good friend can be as simple as remembering that the people in our lives need to be heard and letting them use us a sounding boards.
These "tips" aren't special, time consuming or different, it's just that they work. This holds true if you're in the same room or across the country.
8.5.2008 - Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.
For a friend: In order to for you to find what you really wanna be doing, to find your passion, your path...you have to remove the hindrances that are blocking you from seeing what it is you want. You may be seeing these hindrances or you may not be aware of them yet. So you have to dig deep and see, what is blocking you? Why aren't you seeing? Sometimes they could be people, relationships, patterns, habits. I don't know what it could be for you....You are so strong babe, and I have no doubt that things will pan out for you soon. Just don't let whatever it is that is bothering you drag you down, and make you more sick. Fight, be strong, breathe. Things will be better soon, I promise. I'll keep praying for you.:-)
8.4.2008 (2) - May listahan ka na Sabs, wala ka nang rason!
Ok, ok am going to listen. I am starting to pack already. Finally!
I still have a long way to go!!!
8.4.2008 - Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.
I was thinking this morning about why people do things for each other. Sometimes it could be out of love, other times it could be out of agenda. Only the doer would really know why they do things for another. It could be difficult to discern at times why other people are being kind, or thoughtful or whatever it may be BUT if you are more conscious and more open, you will feel where it is coming from. You will know if they are coming from a good place or not. I have this really bad habit of trusting people right away and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble, and into a lot of hurtful situations. But that's my fault for being to trusting. I put myself out there to be vulnerable, to be to open which results in me getting hurt. And I never did learn. I try to see the beauty in people and I end up giving too much of myself right away. But the good thing about it now, is that I have learned to discern the good seeds from the bad. But even in the bad seeds, I still try to see the good in them.In the past 2 years, I have been lucky enough, or maybe I should say blessed, that the new people I have met are the real deal. They are the people that have beautiful hearts who I intend to keep as friends for eternity. i have met people with so much depth and substance which has made me a better person in more ways than one. They have made me stronger,more knowledgeable, more loving, more spiritual, more open, more sharing...over all they have made me a better person. I am truly blessed to have who I have. God is brilliant and is giving me the right people at the right time.
These special people know who they are. Heaven sent and truly keepers. They are being so supportive of all my decisions, and I cant stop reiterating how amazing they have all been by giving me genuine love and support in this very important journey that I am about to embark on, if I hadn't already embarked on it. I am truly grateful. I have nothing but love for all of them. Again, thank you for being who you are. :-)
Where love is, no room is too small.
8.3.2008 - There's more, much more, to Christmas Than candlelight and cheer; It's the spirit of sweet friendship That brightens all year. It's thoughtfulness and kindness, It's hope reborn again, For peace, for understanding, And for goodwill to men!
Today I received a package all the way from London. A simple package of a couple of books, a jade keychain, a beautiful card an a couple of personalized bookmarks. Simple, yet one of the best presents I have ever received in my life. Why? Because of the thought that went into putting the package together.
The jade keychain is for good luck and is also associated with remembering dreams (I always forget mine!), wisdom, confidence (perfect for my big move!), ambition and for the kidneys and skin.
The books were The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger and South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami. What made it even more special was that The Catcher in the Rye is her favorite book ever, and she gave me her own personal copy. So, so sweet!!! I am deeply touched! :-) There was also a bookmark in each book with a personal note about the book and why she loves it so much. I feel really, really special and well thought of. I am really lucky that I have people in my life who think of me even when they are far away from me, living thousands of miles away.
Thank you for people who have so much heart in them and in what they do for others. We need more people like that in this world.
Thanks so much G for such a beautiful gift of love and thoughtfulness.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
8.2.2008 - Flowing Thoughtfulness
When one person is thoughtful to another, the thoughtfulness gets carried on and on.
It is like a river of kindness, once blocked by rocks,
That is suddenly opened by a single person's kind thought or act.
The river runs freely again, and continues to flow,
Moving more rocks and reaching the hearts of others.
When one person is thoughtful to another the thoughtfulness gets carried on and on.
The more we get together and help each other,
The more friendship there can be throughout many different places.
The friendship can begin like a small stream in a single neighborhood.
And then expand throughout a river of districts, states, countries, and even continents.
When one person is thoughtful to another, the thoughtfulness gets carried on and on.
Soon, we could have a whole ocean of friendships, and that's how the world was created
And how it should always be.
8.1.2008 - Enlightenment
I had a very enlightening day last Thursday. First I met with someone who speaks to Angels. We sat over lunch for 2 hours as she told me the messages my Angels had for me. It was an amazing experience, and I was given messages that I have follow. I have heard the same messages over and over again, but this time, I realized that coming from my Angels, these messages were confirmations and it was time to listen. Funny because i had an appointment with my therapist after that, and a Zohar class, and the same messages were given to me in the different situations.
Basically, messages that I got that day were to let go of certain situations, to surrender it to God and that Andy will be ok when I leave for Dubai.
7.31.2008 - Too-matz-fezbuk-syndrome
I have to wear a sling and a wrist brace for 3 weeks. Carpal tunnel. BUMMER! How'd I get it? Dominic says too much Facebook! HAHAHA!!!
7.29.2008 - Angelic Influences
I logged onto Facebook before going to bed last night and I got excited to see a message in my inbox. Who wrote me this time? I proceeded to open my inbox and there was a message that had no subject. Hmmm, weird, what could this be about? So I open the message and it is from someone who I met a year and a half ago. It was striking. This is the exchange of conversation we had.
Hello, Sabs! We met in Kabbalah about a year and a half ago. Just want you to know that angels are always with you and your son. I believe your son is special as he is always surrounded by his angels. :-)A.
hi A! of course i remember. wow, why'd you say that? that is exactly what i needed to hear. am moving to dubai for work and am leaving him behind. and i was very worried doing so. :-) that makes me feel better!you see angels? Sabs
I had a very strong urge to tell you. I guess that was your angel. He literally pushed me to do that. And it is good to know that you needed to hear that. I had a reawakening last summer while in Australia and I now work with angels.Your little boy is guided and guarded by his angels. You are too. Hope we can meet for lunch or something before you go. I want you to see how close your angels are to you. :-)A.-all is well in my world-
A,that is amazing. and id love to hear all about it.yes i would love to meet. my number is xxxxxxxxxxx. lets plan something soon? am looking forward to that.:-)thanks so much A!love,sabs
It is so crazy to get a message like that out of the blue. I can't say out of nowhere because it definitely came from somewhere! But it is something I had to hear after what I have been through this week. That is an assurance that God is really looking after me.
I remember at the Bible class I attended recently, we were asked, what is your assurance of God's love? And my answer was, I know he loves me because no matter how much I stray from the path, he always puts me back on track. In fact, I shared a song with the girls that really spoke to me at the moment.
I'll Take You Back by Jeremy Camp
The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down
But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds forgiveness replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
But I know that your response will always be
I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now I'll take you back always
Even when the pain is coming through I'll take you back
You satisfy this cry Of what I'm looking for
And I'll take all I can
And lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now that radiates what's true
I'm in the only place that erases all these faults
That have overtaken me
But I know that your response will always be
I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back always
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back I can only speak with a grateful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough
You take me back always
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back always
Even when my pain is coming through
You take me back
Now, I have been given another assurance by God that he loves me and is taking care of me. It is amazing. He is brilliant!
7.28.2008 - Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts
As I was sitting by my windowsill this evening, watching the dark sky, I was thinking of the eloquence of some people. I don't think of myself as an eloquent person. Vulgar yes, eloquent, not quite. I do like learning new words, and when I do learn them, I use them. But am very lazy to read, unless there is nothing else to amuse me then I will pick up a book. Quite odd, since I used to love reading as a child. I guess then, i had nothing else to amuse me. I had no telly in my room nor did i have a computer. So I was only left with my imagination and books. But tell me, with the books I used to read, I didn't pick up any words that I could use to call me eloquent. What was it then? Sweet Valley Twins, Babysitters Club, Sweet Dreams, Choose your own Adventure, Nancy Drew and the like.
I love talking to eloquent people, and I always ask if I don't know what a word means. In fact, I wanna get myself a pocket dictionary. There is always enough room for learning. Ok, call me a dork if this is what I wanna do, but why not?
Hearing others that are so fluent in speaking, and having the power to express strong emotions in a striking and appropriate language, thereby producing conviction or persuasion is mind baffling.
Now, to go and get a pocket dictionary. :-)
My Beautiful Love
Larger than the moon, my love for you.
Worlds collide as heaven pulls us through.
The secret of the world is written in the stars.
I'm carrying your heart in mine.
7.28.2008 - Mamma Mia here we go again!
Mamma Mia,here you go again. My. my, how could I have believed you?
I read somewhere that there is no such thing as "suddenly". I can't remember if it was a book, or a daily tune up. Like you can't "suddenly" fall out of love with someone. There is no such thing as suddenly. Like you can't "suddenly" forget something you promised. You didn't suddenly forget. You just don't remember because it simply isn't important to you. Plain and Simple.
It is like me forgetting that I once loved you and worshipped you like you were some demi-god.. And when i "suddenly" realized that you were no Heracles, Odysseus nor Gilgamesh, I still worshipped the ground you walked on. But that was way back when I still had some respect for you. Now the question I want to pose is this. When did I "suddenly" lose respect for you? Funny it may seem but after years of having no respect for you, I started to respect you again, little by little because of what you showed me. But apparently, it was all a front. Now, the little respect I had started to build for you has been washed away by empty promises. How much sadder can it get than this?
It's pretty pathetic how one can't give for their own flesh and blood. The selfishness disgusts me. Makes me realize how selfish I, too, can get at times. I am like that sometimes? Pathetic! I don't want to be like that. i don't want to be selfish. I want to think more of others first, and really do things for the sake of sharing.
Anyone, please, slap me in the face when you see me getting selfish and too into myself. Please!!!
Creatures of Convenience
Why would someone want to be a creature of convenience? I noticed that I attract people like this. If there is one thing that most of the people I attract share in common is that they are creatures of convenience. Something that’s convenient will always be more attractive and interesting than an equivalent that’s less convenient. So, how do we define convenience? Well, convenience has to do with ease of access and the immediacy of response and gratification.
If it were easier, than of course, most people would choose this way to go. But in the end, after being this type of person, what kind of gratification and fulfillment do you get out of doing so? Some people will never get out of that habit, and will never see the bigger picture. Maybe because they are so selfish and are just too into themselves to change. But there are others who realize how unhealthy it is to be that kind of person. They will eventually work on themselves to go through the transformation needed in order for them to change.
Kudos to you if you are able to see how shitty it is to be that type of person and are willing to transform yourself into a better being. Some people just don't see it and stay like that for the rest of their lives.
Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.
I should have known! I cannot believe I didn't see this coming! How can you forget something you said? I am in utter disbelief over this that I don't even know what to say. I am just very hurt, upset, stressed and I feel so stupid! Tonta!!! Isabel, que tonta eres!!!! Ouch! You can hurt me as much as you want but don't naman hurt my son. Ibang usapan na yan. It's time to put a stop to this. Enough is enough.
7.27.2008 - Pack....shet!!!!
Seryoso na 'to, I have to start packing even little by little!!! Even Voin is already telling me!!! So that makes Voin and Mica-roni!!! Pressure! Gamitin na kasi ang listahan eh, ang tigas ng ulo mo! Aries ka nga talaga! Lol! All right all right, sheesh! I'll start with my chef's jackets later! Malling muna ako with Vern, gonna check out some stuff. It's been raining all morning, and now the sun has finally shone. Yey! Later!
7.26.2008 - Stop staring at your Mac and start packing!
Ive been staring at my Mac for the past couple of weeks, instead of printing out my list and start packing up my suitcase. "Wala ka nang rason Sabs, may listahan ka na!!!". Yes, you're right, I have no reason not to start packing because I already have a checklist. But what exactly is keeping me from packing?
I know that if I don't start now, I will have a harder time packing. But what is keeping me from doing so? Is it doubt, fear, denial, laziness? I haven't even had my jacket's made, nor have I started buying the things I am supposed to buy.
My goal today, after some pushing from Madame M, is to start packing!!! And to start making a new list of what I have to buy!!!
The Art of Having Fun
The sheer joy of being a child! I had so much fun taking these photos but not even half as much fun as Andy did jumping up and down to get the perfect shot. That's my boy!
I haven't PACKING done it!
Ok, I didn't listen to Madame M today. I didn't pack at all. Not one bit. Instead, I did art work with the kids. It was fun, kept my mind off things and was able to "relax" amidst the screams, arguments and hyperness of the children.
7.25.2008 - What soap is to the body, tears are for the soul.
For someone who is very emotional and sensitive, I haven't been able to cry much. I can't even remember the last time I really cried until today. I was driving down the highway, when suddenly I could feel my emotions rushing and my face tensing up. I started to think of my stepdad (Bless him). And I started to tell myself, he would be so proud of me. He would be so proud that I have grown up and am doing something with my life. I was so sure that he was looking down at me at that moment and smiling, saying, that's my daughter. He was always the one so proud of my accomplishments, and no matter how many times we fought, he would be the one that I would have wanted to prove myself to and make him proud.
I remember the first time I met him. I was about 8 or 9 years old. I was in a bathingsuit running around Lolo's garden with a soccer ball, playing with the boys. He saw me and was amused on how I could play against the boys. And up til the day he died, he would always tell me how he always remembered the first time he ever saw me.
I grew up without my dad around, so when Tito Raphie became a part of my life, I was ecstatic. i would always be on him when we would swim. "Totempole!" he would shout, and I was the first one there trying to climb onto his shoulders. I even remember his swimming shorts that he wore often, it was a striped pair that looked nautical. He still had a full head of curly, black hair then.
As I grew older, he would always defend me from everyone. I could say he spoiled me. He called me his daughter. And he treated me like his own too. When my mom would give me an x amount of money, he would give me 5 times more when my mom wasn't looking. He was a generous man.
We started fighting a lot when I got older, for our own personal reasons, mainly because I would try to protect my mom. We talked a lot about what was going on, and i tried not to get involved in their fights, but deep inside I would be seething at them both, because they were always fighting. The year before he died, he started telling me a lot of things which made me understand why they would fight. And I saw that he was really just trying to protect her from the ruthless and abusive people around her. But she wouldn't listen...
Despite his shortcomings, he was a good man with a good heart. He loved Andy so much, and Andy loved him as much in return. They would play for hours, and they had their own world. They even had their own secret language, with codes and all, that none of us would understand. He was exactly the man that Andy needed around. They played with his tools, and all the manly stuff, which is the reason why Andy likes to tinker with things and put them back together. That was their bonding.
When he died, I had a lot of regrets. I didn't get to tell him a lot of things that I meant to tell him. I didn't get to apologize for my mistakes, for the times I showed him a great deal of disrespect. I didn't get to thank him for being such a great grandfather to Andy and for being a parent to me. I didn't get to tell him I loved him, even if I had a lot of anger in me towards him at times. And I still carry that burden in my heart, which is why I chose to write down my feelings. I think it's time to let all of that go. I know he can hear me when I talk to him, and has accepted my apology.
I'm sorry. I thank you. I love you....DAD. Thank you for being my Dad for 21 years.
Tito Raphie, Christmas 1987
Tito Raphie with the famous nautical striped shorts, Myself looking like a dork, and Miguel bending
Miguel holding the lamp, me in yellow, Tito Raphie, Mom, Inaki in a polo, Inigo looking so cute and Tita Toto sitting down
7.22.2008 - "We should indulge our cravings. When we deny ourselves an entire food category, whether it's starch or sweets, we deny our bodies and our minds valuable enjoyment and possibly nutrients."
Amen.
7.20.2008 - Happy Birthday Lolo Mitch!
Today is Andy's paternal grandfather's birthday. Happy birthday Lolo Mitch!We had a lovely Japanese dinner at the Palms. Before that, Andy, his Papa and I spent the day together just hanging out, shopping and enjoying the rides at the amusement center in the mall. Nice steady Sunday.
While I was checking out Chuck's for Andy, he was posing with the moving bronze painted man. It was his Papa's brilliant idea.
Am so tired though, it was so hot and the malls were packed. Well, I better enjoy it since I will be leaving soon. Boohoo!!!
7.19.2008 - Quality Time
I got to spend the day with Andy yesterday with no complaints from him that he wanted to go home and play with his friends. Just hung out around the mall and played video games then had dinner with Mae. Then we watched The Dark Knight, Andy and I plus Mae and Dom. It was nice, I'll miss moments like that when I leave...
7.17.2008 - Anal-itically correct?
Seems like the phrase "anal retentive" came up quite a few times yesterday. Everyone has their own quirks, may it be setting the radio volume control to even numbers or to multiples of 5, to repeat everything that you say out loud by mumbling under your breath, or to not step on a crack (or you'll fall and break your back!). But what is it that makes us Obsessive compulsive about trivial things like that? Sometimes it's funny to hear other people's quirks, but often times, they sound quite absurd! Oh well, we aren't perfect. :-)
A term used to refer to a person who feels a need to be in control of all aspects of his or her surroundings. Or, in other words, an anal retentive person "can't let go of shit."
7.16.2008 - Who's the grand mother packer? Checklist! Thanks Michaela!!!
7.14.2008 - New found friends
Lunch at Flapjacks in Greenbelt with Hanniel and Mae. What beautiful people, so full of love,life and lots of laughs. Thanks Mica for setting us up. :-)
7.13.2008 - Happy Birthday Bro!
It's my brother's 20th birthday today. Happy Birthday Apha! Love you!
Man, how time flies. Being 10 years older, I experienced taking care of him, and changing his nappies. Feels like it was just yesterday! Now, I have my own 7 year old boy.
Trust, Love and keep MOVING
6 weeks to go before the big move
Unbelievable! Time flies! I am actually moving in 6 weeks and I haven't even started to pack!!! 6 weeks!!! I hope time flies that fast there too until I come back and visit.
7.12.2008 - Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage
The greatest of all gifts is the power to estimate things at their true worth
I always promised myself that I'd never let my life get so busy that I wouldn't have time for the people that mean a lot to me. Lately though, it seems that there is so much going on in my life because of the move, the big decisions, and me going up and out. i feel that I haven't taken enough time to see everyone as often as I can and haven't taken enough time to let you know how much having them in my life means to me. Out of my busy schedule, and everyone else's busy schedules too, i hope you all know that no matter how crazy things may get, I am always thinking of you. And even when things are manic and hectic, thinking of each and every one I love dearly always brings a little bit of peace into my heart. That's why, I just wanted to slow down and take a quiet moment to tell you how much i appreciate you for having you in my life. :-)
7.10.2008 - Wisdom is knowing the right path to take, Integrity is taking it
Since I was offered the job, I haven't really had any doubt in my heart that it's the right thing to do. I just really believe in following one's dreams and passion, whatever they may be. I believe in dreaming, aspiring and manifesting whatever goal it is that one wants to reach.
I have been told by a few people that I shouldn't leave, that i should just find a job here in Manila and work from here. But that doesn't sit well with me. It feels as if their intention in telling me to stay is for their own selfish reasons. Maybe because they will have added responsibilities, or that i may be a threat to them because I am on my way up and out while they are in statis.
As much as it may be difficult for others, it is also difficult for me. Yet, I feel that this is the right thing to do. And I will not let them dissuade me from following my dreams.
Just like I am following my dreams, I hope that everyone opts to do the same. I have great respect and admiration for those who follow their dreams. Specially when they pursue happiness instead of financial success.
I know of a few people who aren't making millions with what they are doing, but they are so happy. And I want that.
So to those who who have followed their dreams, I salute you. And thanks for giving me so much strength and courage to follow my dreams.
There is nothing permanent except change. If you long for stability and an unchanged situation, things cannot move forward
All I can say is, I agree!
7.9.2008 - Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out
No matter what happens, I am certain of the decisions that I am making and no one is going to dissuade me from following my dreams.
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live
What is it with people that they are afraid to face their responsibilities? It frustrates me because instead of facing responsibility, they end up blaming others for why things turn out a certain way.
I was very frustrated today and got angry that I was being blamed for another's irresponsibility. "This happened like this because of what you did", was what was said, when in reality, he was being blamed for the incident. He was a big part of the cause.
This all happened because he is scared to step up! Scared to be responsible. Scared to face his priorities in life.
He doesn't want me to leave. But that's not his choice. If you really care about me, let me go. Don't stop me from following my dreams. I am scared too but am ready to step up, to be independent, to be responsible. As difficult as it could possibly be, is as fulfilling as it will be too.
If you want out, just be honest and say so. Don't play me, this isn't a game.
7.8.2008 - Whirlwind
Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I was being tested for my fears and for my strengths. Very difficult day for me, but I know they were all tests and I just have to face it head on. No running away. Charge woman!
7.6.2008 - Online cooking
I just taught my first on line cooking class through skype. Haha! :-) So funny, my friend from London was asking what she could do with couscous and ground beef, so we settled for couscous in a simple lemon vinaigrette and meatballs in a stewed tomato sauce with herbs and cinnamon. Am really curious about the outcome.Will find out soon.
Having dinner with Olivia and Trina tonight. Made two kinds of salmon. One japanese style with a kikkoman and honey glaze, and another with a horseradish cream sauce with garlic, olives and capers. Excited to eat, am starving!!!
7.5.2008 - Good Mawnin Saturday!
Feeling good today. Excited for food styling class. Going to do a solo photo shoot. :-) Later!
7.4.2008 - The Triad, happy when we're together
I had such a fantabulous time hanging with friends whom I love dearly, with great conversation full of depth and substance.And then came the kenkoyan when we decided to call Mica. Imagine, 3 tipsy grown people inside a car with one phone on loud speaker on a call to London. Kagulo!
Sorry Mics, I know you barely understood half of what we were saying but to tell you honestly, I don't even remember half the things we were saying. We were just too excited!
I really enjoy this bunch. All such loving, intelligent,supportive and trustworthy people. These are the kind of friends that I know deep in my heart, will be there with me through everything, just as i will be there for them. They are the ones who give me strength to fight my battles.
It really is true what they say that you don't have to know a friend for a lifetime for them to be really be a true friend. This is living proof. :-) Keepers, I say!
Cheers to Charlie and the Triad! Thanks for a beautiful night! :-)
7.3.2008 - Waiting for tonight, The triad will re-unite
Finally, the triad will be together again! Miss hanging out with you guys! Sayang you aren't here Mics. Don't worry, Tink, KK and Chef will call Charlie tonight. :-)
Everyone has been crazy busy, we finally found a common schedule! Really looking forward to this.
Salut to Charlie's triad
All drinks tonight will be for you Mica! Soon enough, we can all hang out together, and it ought to be loads of fun! After all the chats and phone calls, I can already imagine what it would be like with all of us together. :-) And we have to ask about the promised magic mic, it should be en route to London by now, don't you think? ;-p
7.2.2008 - I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.
I often re-evaluate my life at certain points of the year, looking at what blessings have come my way, where I am, and what kind of relationships I have. Today, I started to think about who the people in my life are. What are they to me? Are they friends in need, real friends or fair weather friends?
I just made one of the biggest decisions in my life, which is to work in another country. I shared the news with many friends, and I got different reactions from each one. They all now what my passion is, what my dreams are, what type of person I am, but each one had a different reaction. The way they acted and reacted when i shared the news showed me the difference between real friends and fair weather friends.
Everyone told me how happy they were for me and what a great opportunity it was gonna be. But the closer I get to my date of departure, the more changes I see with the so-called happiness some said they had for me. There are some who have suddenly become uncaring, less supportive and very bored when I start to talk about the move and my big dreams. Seems like they are starting to become selfish or maybe they just really don't care at all. I can't help but wonder, what are they really thinking and feeling? That is beyond my control.
On the other hand,there are some, who are just genuinely happy for me and join me with the excitement that I have as I embark on this new journey in my life.
There are several in particular, who have really stood out through this challenging moment in my life. But I wanna focus on one person today. Has it ever happened to you that when you least expect it, someone comes into your life who can really help you in whatever situation you are in at the moment? Just as I was going through a transitional moment in my life, the perfect person who went through it some time ago, came into my life. Someone I barely knew, but just made perfect sense with every little thing she shared with me.
One day, I told myself, this doesn't make sense. I barely know this person, so why do i feel such a natural affinity and kinship towards her? I couldn't explain it, and I still can't. But sometimes, it is pointless to try to keep searching for an explanation because some things require no explanation. That's just the way it works, God will give you the person you need at the moment. Brilliant, isn't it?
I am in for a very exciting, challenging and possibly the most painful experience of my life, and I am ready to face it head on. I've never been stronger than I am now, and to have friends around me who give me more strength, I feel like I can take on the world.
So, to my real friends, I raise my glass (or more like my San Mig Light), and thank you for being the loving people that you are. Thank you for the genuine care and support you are giving me. Salut!
And to those who don't really care, I am not judging you, I will still be here to care for you the way I always did. Salut to you too.
